The Life Of A Fun Size

So this is it♥

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I still believe♥

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Cursed!♥

Life is complicating. It always is. My 19 years of life has been great, but seriously it has not been an easy year for me this year. I have to say it's the worse of worse. 2009 marks the worse year of my life. I don't know what's happening to me lately. Nothing's going right for me. I mean everything! So FML!

Ever since the news of failing of my papers and then nothing were going right. So, i failed my paper and it's been one of my darkest moment already. I was seriously down and believe me it wasn't easy for me at all. So thanks to everyone i love, i got back on my feet and i was ready to start all over again.

And again, i was fine and getting back to my usual self. Then comes trouble once again when I went hiking with my friends without my parent's blessings. I thought it was not gonna be so bad, just may be a little nagging. But it was seriously bad. They threatened me to go back to JB and take my course and not giving me allowance as my dad thinks tt i choose friends more than family. So basically i was so devastated once again after all my dad's lecturing and scolding. Seriously, when my dad's angry, he's one scary person :/ *gulp*

Just when i thought everything will be all right. Exams are coming soon and so i was studying really hard. And my birthday is nearing. Hence, everything feels right until TODAY!

I dunno how the hell my wallet got lost. I couldn't find it anywhere. Like wtf! I search every possible area i have been and none and be found. I was freaking dripping cold sweat. I don't want my dad giving me another hell! Till now...no news tt it's found. I am really praying hard tt it'll be found. I mean how can all of this nightmare happen to me! And all so recent. My wallet has a sum of money and let's just skip the money part, all my documentation is in there and i have to do it all over! It's gonna be troublesome and Urghhh!!!! I don't really intend to tell my parents bout it. If i can do it all by myself, i'll do it. I can't put myself at stake again!

So after telling you all this, you might be mocking, teasing, sad or happy or whatever you might be feeling for me. I am depressed here! I mean all this while i have been a happy girl with so much love and support and kinda everything in my life and ALL THIS crush me down in one freaking year. SO FML for now! I dunno whoever or whatever is cursing me! May be it's karma too. I know karma is a BITCH! Pls just let me go. What have i done to deserve all this! Just praying hard everything will be better after all this stormy days of me!

Basically, i am pissed about everything now. Pissed about me and everything around me. I mean why must this happen to me right! I don't deserve all this. I'm not a perfect nor a obedient child i may say but not to the extent to be a black sheep of my family or friends. So i really think i don't deserve all this. It's isn't fair for me. This jinx is just killing me slowly and it's torturing!

I always comfort myself, saying everything will be better after this. But it doesn't seem this way. They say every cloud has a silver lining. I say bullshit for it now. I don't feel any of it now. Bear with me, i'm just so pissed! Just pissed at myself for sucking so badly at everything. I just hope and pray everything will be better as i said.

I will be better for sure. Don't worry. I still believe in my GOD has his plans for all of us even if it's good or bad and that everything happens for a reason and everything will be solved when the times right. I'm sure everyone has their bad times so here's mine. I will not cry as i've done too much crying this year and i hate myself crying. So it's enough! I will be strong. One day you'll see everything will be fine and i'll learn all this as a lesson from GOD and a better ME will appear. Just one fine day. We'll all see...

xoxo even if i'm pissed :)
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Home alone♥

On the 2nd of November, it was my mummy's birthday and my dad had given my mum a vacation to Macau as a gift for her birthday :) Therefore, i was kinda home alone for like 3 to 4 days! And it was so awesome!!!!

Anyways my mum came back on her birthday and i was planned to bake her a cake or cupcake something for her birthday. So in the end i baked a chocolate cake. Awesome am i :) But i just bought a premix and it was freaking easy. It's still can be eaten ok...Don't worry. PC ate so much when she was in my hostel wei :) I'm so proud of myself *pats head*

When i was home alone, and the cars are not in use in my house, and the car keys are at my house, so what do you think i will do? Well...whatever you're thinking in your head, i think you're right! I drove my mum's car when they told me not to and i am telling you it was literally awesome! Eh...it's a BIG deal for me to drive if you guys know me well ok :) Again...I'm so proud of myself *pats head*

Once, i drove to buy breakfast just up my house. Damn near my house only. it's just i was so lazy to walk and i just drove. The second i went to yum cha with my friends but i asked Krystal to sit beside me when i'm driving. When i was at the main road, i got honk so much wei! And a few times i was gonna kiss the car beside. My gosh, it was scary but well i was kinda lucky :) But krystal wa freaking scared, She was actually on the phone and when i was so bad at driving, she just end the call straightaway. Thanks girl, your life was at stake but hey i still manage to drive safely back and forth the destination =)

This few days in JB was kinda good. I went out a lot with friends and met up with a few of close friends. I'm just elated. And i went to graveyard to pay a visit of my ancestors and my deceased grandparents. Eh...people, JB is seriously not tt bad. We have so many places to yum cha and the ambience is so good! So don't discriminate my lovely town :) I will upload some photos soon!

So, back in KL now, and have to hard core studying now! I have to pass this round and get rid of this papers or else something real bad gonna happen to me!

Till then xoxo :)
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Yours Truly

“It is not the size of a man but the size of one's heart that matters.”

The Fun Size

Me,Myself,I

Call me Brenda.
I'm always loud and crazy with friends and i might end up doing all kinds of embarrassing stuff with you. I have mood swings, who can't drive nor cook or may act a little bimbo sometimes. I LOVE cheese cakes =) I'm vertically challenge/Fun Size and it has been an issue for me ever since young. I'm blur,naive and clumsy half of the time. So i may have many bad points. I may not be that pretty, sexy, funny, smart or physical attractive girl you'll find, but I can always be a TRUE friend, listener, daughter, sister, granddaughter, etc. Try me. Love me or hate me, that's just me Brenda. Don't worry, I won't bite =)

Wishlist

Want them!

- Trip to Bali!
- Get A DSLR camera & learn photography
- Graduate ACCA
- Lose weight
- Trip to Australia!
- Bungee Jumping, sky diving
- Cheese cakes ♥
- Backpacking trips around the world
- Learn the guitar
- Gain more confidence
- Meet "the one" in my life :)
- Hike Gunung Kinabalu
- Learn diving
- Understand the bible
- Learn Yoga
- More parties!


Brenda Beh

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