I'm Moving :D

HELLO HUMANS :D

Just to announce that i am officially done with blogspot.

Nothing is wrong with it, i just felt like moving.

So i'm packing my post and moving in with Tumblr.

I don't know if it's gonna be better but it seems more interesting than blogspot :)

So yea no more post will be posted here

But HERE!

http://dreamingthebittersweet.tumblr.com/

Tata Blogspot!

The big day

11.11.11

It's seem like it's gonna take some long time to be there,

but seriously, it won't be long.

Before you know it, i'm already waking up on this beautiful day :)

Anyways it's a kinda a very BIG DEAL for me.

It's gonna be my 21st and all the more

the awesome all 11.11.11.

I mean you gotta say it's a rare chance all right!

So i'm all prepared and excited for this day.

But i'm trying not to have high hopes as when i get high hopes for something

usually it ends up BAD!

And anyways i just want my 21st be a very very special one

and kinda GRAND one if i have the $$$$

So i think my 20th will be a very low profile one

Sacrificing for next year you know :)

Btw...before i turn 21,

I am thinking of having a checklist of things to be done.

So here it is what i have in mind :)

• My education would come first definitely. So i hope by then at least i will be almost done with what i'm aiming for. Praying really hard everyday for that day to come.

• Music will my next i guess. I MUST get the hang of the guitar before this. I mean I've been saying to learn it from years and years ago and till now....nothing. I feel so sorry for myself. Anyways yes i have to do it. Am already finding a place to learn now. And also after guitar i will wanna have a ukulele :))) Like ingrid michaelson!!!

• And next i will say i'll go into some adventure. I hope by 21 i will have already conquer the famous Gunung KK! It's actually a MUST list to do before i die to be up in KK but i hope it can be earlier than that :) And also bungee jumping baybeh!!! It's gonna be a hrad task to achieve :/

• Since i'm so into yoga now, I really hope i can be a step a higher level on my yoga. I have to say after months of yoga, i feel good but i just wanna feel even better. I want my body become more flexible. All the aunties in the yoga center are better than me so you can say i have the competitive spirit here!

• Adding to the list, I really hope i can do more charitable works. May be go find some organisation and get involve with it when i'm here. I think i should. Let's just hope i will do that ok :)

• And also, by 21 i wanna make my parents feel proud of me and be able to treat me as BIG GIRL and be able to not worry so much of me anymore and just enjoy their own life. Just that, i would already be really happy!

• Lastly, i have a few more too but i shall not write it down here but secretly know it in my heart.

So after 2 years, i shall read this blog post again and see if i did achieve what i have wrote down. I really do hope i can achieve every single one of them :)

Let's dream big together!!!!

The invariable mark of a dream is to see it come true.

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming,

we lose the excitement of possibilities.

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

High school never ends

Today is the day that marks my high school's 85th Anniversary! It's as old as my grandfather. There's just so much of memories we had there. And you can just see how much love each of the convent girls have on this school.

The 5 years we spent in this school gave such a great impact on each of us. I'm sure everyone of us did have our great share of fun. I mean who doesn't have fun in high school?! I really regret to not attend the 85th anniversary just for one class of mine. I should have just skip my class for it. It's once in every 5 years. Sigh....too late for regrets now. So i'll just have to

wait for the 90th anniversary. Then I'll be 25 and i wonder where and what will i be?! The all-so-common-busy-in-the-making-accountant? Well i shall see that in 5 years time :)

Anyways i just am so proud to be from Convent JB! You can say whatever you want but high school did make me what i am now. I've learn and gain so much from there. My high school ain't just some ordinary high school. I think it has some magic spell that had put on each one of us. You hear how some ppl just prejudice their own high school. However, none of the girls will EVER hate convent JB. And everyone of us just wish to be back in high school cause it's just where all the laughter is shared among all of us.

I miss high school terribly now :(

How i wish i can turn 13 again and do my high school thing all over again.

CONVENT JB,

I WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD TO BE PART OF THIS SCHOOL!!!!!

( Shit, i gain weight from high school. it's obvious i know! And look how innocent i was)

-time for weight losing and cleansing of mind. LOL!-

The silver lining

I am always telling people just be confident and be yourself, and you'll get what you're heading and easily being friends with everyone.

But, sometimes it's just hard. I tried to ask myself to be that person i'm always telling people to be but yet i'm not persuing what i'm suppose to be or become. Talking about actions speaks louder than words :/ It's just difficult. I suppose everyone thinks so too.

I'm in a brand new environment now. Around 90% is new to me. People, Place, Plans, or Pictures. Everything is different. I was definitely intimidated but now i'm slowly getting the hang of it though i can tell you honestly i may not have any real friends in class yet. I've talked to a few people but it's all general talks and nothing more. It's just different from where i was. It was comfortable and everything just fit in so nicely. Now, there's some cracks here and there. Some people i just can't imagine being friends with from overhearing their conversation. I think i should not be so choosy or think so negative. May be they're better than i think so but somehow it's not gonna be as good as before.

Lecturers are fairly good here. My law lecturer looks like a taller, bigger, not so good-looking version of Michael Jackson. He's just hilarious. I never laugh so much in a law class. All my memories in law classes are dozing off or skipping classes. One of my friends introduced him personally to me and we talked a bit about why i'm back here in JB. He's definitely nice but i'm suspect he may be GAY! That's kinda cool right?! Having a lecturer being gay :)

As for costing lecturer, he's just a person who we should admire. He can't walk and needs a wheelchair all the time. However, when he teaches us, he never ask our help for like writing on the board or erasing the board. I mean that's just so great of him. i can't imagine what he had been going through. As for tax lecturer, he's kinda boring but yer a really gentle and nice guy. All of them are guys. I kinda hope Rozi is my tax lecturer now :)

Sometimes, I think i set my goals so high for some things when i know it's impossible to reach. Having high goals is a good thing but it's just depressing when you just can't reach that goal of yours. I really wish i have that determination and courage to go through everything in life because life is just such a pain in the ass. Literally....

However, I always tell myself it's never the end of the world. Everything happens for a reason and God has definitely plan something well for me in life. That's what keeping me still and positive for every failure i've made in life. I really do hope it's right.

They say every cloud has a silver lining. I wish i will see mine soon. Crossing my fingers hard =)

All of us are architects of fate... living in these walls of time.

Inception

Have you guys watch Inception? Cause if you haven, i am adamant to advice you to get your ass up and go watch it as you're missing some good shit. The movie is just MIND-BLOWING! I'm serious. How can anyone just think of something like this? A dream in a dream. Subconscious security.Omg just how creative are people getting.

Christopher Nolan is just the one person who can do it. He's one awesome director. Well yes i did some research on this movie after watching it. I just had to use Yt's favourite website (wikepedia) to know about this movie. Just tell me about it. I'm just loving the movie so much. I know it may seem i'm being oh-so-drama but well it's just me. Once i start loving something, you'll see how obsessed i get on it :)

Leonardo Dicarpio. I have to say he really did a good job on this movie. Thumbs up :) I for one is not really obsessed bout him. He's really manly but not my cup of tea. Do you know me & him share the same birthday. We're such awesome people *flips hair* =)

For this movie, i checked out Ellen Page more than any others. I mean she's one girl that i believe will do great in the future. After knowing her from Juno, i had quite a good impression on her. She's those kind of girls who you will not notice she's really pretty at first sight but the more you get notice of her, the more you find that she's actually gorgeous. To make it simple, she's not boring to look at even after a long period, it just gets better. But mostly i like her kinda laid-back attitude. She can be so gorgeous and be so cool at the same time. She can so pull off to be a lesbian. Omg....i think i sound so much like a positive lesbian. Lol. Just checking a girl out, That's all :) No more than that.

Anyways, you people just better go watch it. You'll get what i mean after watching the movie. Ok i'm freaking tired now. Been waking up so early this few days and driving so often lately. YES I AM DRIVING!!! And all by myself. I drove 3 of my friends around already. BIG time achievement for me :) I hope i din scare the hell out of them. Cos i did scare myself up when i got lost at one stage. HAHA! Don't judge, i may be better than you think :D

You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling...

Wake up

I just had a long talk with one of my juniors and she's Form 5 now and is already planning for her future right now. She's been telling me what she intends to do and where she intends to go and all and i really envy her. I mean back then i was taking everything for granted. Yes i did do some research on some college and courses but not thoroughly. And i really regret it NOW!

If I have been given another chance, I would definitely not go into ACCA which i have been struggling so hard now. I would probably turn into a foundation course first and then into a accounting degree and then final year i'll go to Aussie. It's not i can't do it now it's just i think it's a little too late for i have gone into this ACCA shit so deep and somehow there's not much of turning back.

That is why i regretted so much of taking granted of everything i had and have. Although i did not too badly in my SPM but still now i'm quite in a mess. Like seriously. I really wish i could turn back time and redo everything. You know i would die to just pack my bags right now and then fly to Australia near to mother nature and have a serene holiday where there's no stress, just freedom and calmness. I would definitely love that right now.

But it's all too late Brenda.

Wake up from your dreamland and come back to this cold and cruel real world.

Life...

I've been feeling easily tired, restless, moodless and just emotional recently. I don't know what's happening to me. May be it's all in the mind. I really wish everything is just the same but it isn't. Everything has change and it should be, for the better. But somehow deep inside i can't help to wonder why is it happening? why is it just me? why is it have to be this way? why is it just WHY?!

I think a person's life is supposed to be like a DVD. You can see the version everyone else sees, or you can choose the director's cut-the way he wanted you to see it, before everything else got in the way.

There are menus, probably, so that you can start at the good spots and not have to relieve the bad ones. You can measure your life by the number of scenes you've survived, or the minutes you've been stuck there.

Probably though, life is more like those dumb video surveillance tapes. Grainy, no matter how hard you stare at it. And looped, the same thing, over and over again.

BANG!

GUESS WHAT?!

BRENDA GOT HERSELF A BANG.

( as if she's not kiddy looking enough and now it's just worse. I just look dumb too! Tell me about it seriously!)

BEWARE:

Don't be shock when you see the picture below. HAHAHA

P.S. I don't like criticism but i need to know it :) So pls just be truthful to me.

Whatever you call her, she's MY SHORTAY

I've known someone by accident from another close friend of mine because for some unknown reason we are match together just because we're having the same height. Ok that's what THEY say so but from my point of view, i'm definitely TALLER than her by at least 1cm. HAHA!

My first impression for this girl, well in a good tone, i'll say she's very SHY but let's get REAL here, she's just anti-social and has that really lansi look which i din know where she got that from. *roll eyes* Summore i can't really tell if she's Chinese/ Indon/ Malay?! lol. And i never really get her name. Her short name can be relate to so many things. Like pork chop or personal computer! lol. So you can tell it was a BAD first impression huh! But on a brighter side i don't dislike her as we're on the same boat of being tease as the SHORT girls.

So shortly after being introduced by that friend of mine, we still managed to say at least a HI-BYE in college and putting a smile on our faces. Girls are good in acting you know :) Then we decided to plan a hiking trip to Bukit Tabur and we invited like everyone in library to join us and UNEXPECTEDLY this girl tak tau malu come and join us. Sigh....and so my first trip with her was incidental too! HAHA! I think she wants to check me out that's why she wanted to tag along or may be she wanted to fit in a cool gang of ours :) *flips hair*

On our hiking journey, a gang of us slowly hike up and you know what the UNLUCKY me was the one behind her and she's like so slow lor. That's why i say she's shorter than me. And being behind of her, i was asked to take care of her safety by the friend of mine. I should have suspected something between them by then. HAHA! And she summore so shy and all say don't need my help and everything. Action lor....

Just when i thought may be my FATE with her will come to an end, another trip popped out between our gang and we invited once again everyone in the library. We're VERY friendly people :) I have to say we got closer after our hiking trip together since i was the one taking care of a girl smaller than me like a 10 year old kid but her real age is ........... (let's not talk bout it here! ) So we planned the Redang trip among ourselves and this girl decided to join in also. Sigh... Now i know why la.

During our Redang trip, have to say it was really FUN. So me, Dini, and her were given the same room to stay in. I have no idea why la. That's our ber-bonding session. That's where everything started :) *raises eyebrows* We had fun laughing of every silly jokes, getting tipsy, bath together. LOL. Everything BAD from me now is taught by her. She actually tempt us to commit suicide ok! Like seriously...ask me to join her to go sink and die and the silly me agreed upon it. WE were not in the right mind back then. Everyone was staring at us and friends were nearly giving up on us. What we did back then just makes me laugh everytime i think of it. Remembering how this girl opened the door of our room just to see if we could sneak out of the room as we had bodyguards guarding our room door. What were we thinking ??? What was she thinking??
Well like i say, What happened in redang, stays in redang! :)

Ok after that trip, the 3 of us started being close and tight. We practically were always together in college. We can just tell dirty jokes and gossip around and one day passes by damn freaking fast. So you can say we had a blast just by being together. It's kinda difficult now for us to do the same thing as before :(

After all of that, many things happened between us and we were sadly separated in class but our relationship as being the awesome 3 never drifted apart. That's one thing I'm so proud and happy about. The 3 of us still do meet up once in a while but i always do see this girl I'm talking about. Like ALWAYS until i got so bored looking at her. HAHA! We have lunch together in white, study together in foyer and library, go eat ramly burger and snowflakes (on me) together, hiking, celebrate so many people's birthdays together. So you gotta be very close to one to be doing all this things together.

As for now, after knowing her a year plus, it just seems like forever. We've been through so much together. Ups and downs. I mean we're like SISTERS now. She's definitely the elder one. HAHA! And since so many have said we look alike which is an INSULT for both of us. May be we do look a little alike just we won't admit it. But seriously, i really treat her like my own sister though i already have one of my own. She definitely helped me in so many ways. I'm just thankful for being able to know her by that friend of mine. Oh ya they're like so in LOVE now. I should have guess it! There's something going on between you two from the start.

Anyways just wanna tell you for being such an AWESOME friend. You brought happiness in my life and i'm sure i did the same to you *wink* Though i got to know how GROSS, LAZY, PIG, LANSI, EMO, & BIATCH you are, i still endured all of it and befriended you so well all this while. Well done Brenda * wipe tears* Putting aside all the bad stuff, like i said you're really AWESOME. I never regretted as well knowing you as my friend. In fact, I'm really blessed. Though we may be having a long distance relationship now, i know we will still remain as close as ever cos we're just who we always are. You're one special person in my life. I LOVE YOU FOREVER & EVER :D

Lastly i would like and love to say and wish you

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!!
My Awesome/ Shortay/ LOO/ PC

just in case it's HAYLEY LOO PHEI CHUEN :D

P.S. Don't get too touch reading this cause this may be my only birthday present to you :)

The moments that i cherish much with you and i hope our friendship will last us till the end of time and imagine us being like 60 and even shorter and still able to shit about everything. Ok that sounds a little intimidating. HAHA! I just hope we'll stay the same forever :)
*hugs and kisses*

I Never

had to make a decision which was this complicated in my life.

In life, we are given choices to choose from and decisions to make. But do we really know what we're choosing and making the right decision for ourselves?

I am one who has the difficulty to even make a decision on what to eat or wear or watch. Everything seem nicely plan well for me all along. But just NOT now.

So, you tell me now, how am i suppose to solve this difficult equation of mine when i am someone who's so freckled-minded.

I believe this is the challenge i have to take up to make me stronger and more mature in life. I'll take this challenge for sure but am i making the right choice?

That's the only thing that's holding me back....

Singapore

Singapore trip with my college friends was really good surprisingly. I thought with me going in after so many times, there should be nothing much already for me to see but well i'm wrong. Singapore is small yes it's really small but this time round i was supposedly the tour guide for them where i don;t even know how to take the bus and MRT. Well done la brenda!

Wait for it, But i actually managed to bring them around spore successfully! And i now realized it's just a piece of cake to take the bus and MRT. I'm awesome la! * pats head* Lol.

The people there....let's say they're what you think they are always known as :) Not all but some of them. And definitely their dressings are way better than JB people. No many lalas there for sure. HAHAHA! We met up with Wui Ling there and i am telling you she's just great. She's just so nice! We told her last minute of us being there and she still brought us to her home and serve us dinner and everything. THANKS if you're reading this :) I will let you know when i go into Singapore the next time :)

Anyways the pictures uploaded has flooded my whole facebook consuming 4 albums. Seriously...we're one poser gang. But all in all it was a trip that was so enjoyable being with my friends and also an eye opener for me too. So loving the trip and everything. Being a tour guide is not easy but i still am happy my friends came and enjoyed themselves. That's the most important part :)